My Autobiography - Part 2

In August, I enrolled in college. Even just during enrollment, I was already having a hard time. I thot to myself, "College is really this difficult." On September 12, 2022, my first year of college began. My female cousin was my classmate, and we were the only two together on the first day of school. We had a really hard time finding our classmates because we weren't yet part of the group chats. It was only on our third day of college that we were added to the group chats and met the two gay men who would become our friends. In the first semester of my first year of college, my friends and I failed one of our major subjects. I thot it was okay not to take college seriously, but it turned out to be completely different once you're in college. And during the second semester of my first year, our initial circle of friends disappeared, leaving only my friend and me. And that's when we met three male classmates who were friends. They became our new friends. They were nice and pleasant to be with. I wish we had met them during the first semester.

Then on April 5, 2023, my friends and I planned to go swimming, but only the four of us ended up going. Even tho I was the only girl, it was actually fun. It turns out it's not bad to be friends with all guys, especially since they're kind and study hard. They're the ones who help me whenever I'm having trouble with our activities. Then, for our male friend's birthday, we went swimming again. He prepared everything there, and when we went back to their place at nite, we went to the fair because it was their fiesta in Reina Mercedes. After the fair, we went camping for our project that we needed to video. After we finished filming, we had a bonfire and chatted. Whenever I'm with my friends, it feels like I have no problems because we're always laughing when we're together.

And before the end of our second semester of our second year, I met a boy named Ken. I met him when my grandmother's brother passed away. My male cousin came home from Tarlac with his two friends. The first time I saw one of his friends, I immediately liked him. The next day, it was raining in the afternoon, and we cousins were playing Uno cards at the house next door. While we were playing, my cousin and his two friends arrived from SM. They had gone sightseeing because it was their first time here in Isabela. Then they took the extra Uno cards and played with the three of them. The next day, Ken added me on Facebook. Of course, I accepted his request because I liked him. Then that nite, he messaged me, and I was surprised. He said, "Nicole," and I replied right away. It turned out he was going to ask for candy because he thot I was at the wake. Then our conversation continued until the last nite. We made the most of our bonding because after the burial, they would be going back to Tarlac. Before they left, he left his jersey with me, saying it was just for me. It was the first time I had received something like that, so I really took care of it. We started talking on June 06, 2024, and on November 09, 2024, I decided to end things because we had been talking for 5 months, but we were still in a situationship. It turned out he had no plans for me and wasn't sure about me because we were far from each other.

We ended things amicably because I thot our distance was the only problem. It felt like the right person, wrong place. He even wished me a happy new year. But on January 3, 2025, I found out he had been with another woman since the last week of October. I couldn't say he cheated on me because we never officially dated. He was so good, I didn't even realize he was with someone else. How could I have known? He never lacked in communicating with me, we chatted from morning until nite, and we were on call until we fell asleep. When I found out everything, it was so painful and infuriating because why did he do that to me? What did I do wrong? If he liked someone else, he could have told me, I would have understood. But he chose to deceive me. I thot he was the right person for me, I thot I was safe because his cousin was one of his friends, but apparently, they tolerated it. He still doesn't know that I know what he really did to me. He still thinks we're okay because that was our last conversation after he wished me a happy new year.

And because of that, I'm afraid, I'm afraid to love again. Nowadays, most men are different, they're cheaters and womanizers. I'm afraid that if I try again, it will just happen all over again. So I'm a certified man hater, and that's better than losing myself again because of this love life. At least I learned a lot. Sometimes in life, people come into our lives just to be a lesson for us. I'm thankful because now I know more, and I won't be fooled again.

And now that I'm a 4th-year irregular student, I know I still have many challenges ahead, but I won't give up because if I do, my parents will be furious HAHAHAHAHA. And of course, I'll study even harder so I won't fail any subjects anymore, and my only goal now is to graduate from college and get a good job in the future, so I can repay all the sacrifices my parents have made for me and also help my siblings.